The Crawl Commute

Have you ever been cycling merrily along only to get stuck behind someone who, if they were riding any more slowly, would just fall off? Of course you have! The affliction is endemic!

It has baffled me for some time as to just how one person can ride so excruciatingly slowly?

One such offender was in front of me on my ride into work a few mornings ago.  The cyclist in question also happened to be one of those who aren’t aware of the 3 miles between them and the curb, making it utterly impossible to quickly and safely overtake. Internally screaming (as has become a habit of mine), “Is this a commute or are you just along for the bloody ride?!”, I gazed down to the ground in despair. It was when I did this that I caught sight of Ms-Cruise-a-lot’s feet and realised; you’re only pedalling once every 3 rotations!! At last, I thought, it makes sense: they aren’t pedalling.

Hang on, you exclaim, that makes no sense at all, they’re cyclists, they’re obliged to pedal. Well, yes, you’d think so but these lazy-legged culprits are ubiquitous. More than 50% of the cyclists I encounter in London every weekday morning and evening aren’t actually pedalling – they’re pedalling a bit, cruising a bit. I’ve been in cars with drivers who do the same, “kangaroo juice” as the old man calls it: bouncing along on the accelerator, never keeping a constant velocity, travelling along in unhealthy fits and starts. People never fail to surprise me.

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